• Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

  • Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?

  • If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

  • Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

  • Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

  • Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

  • Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

  • If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

  • Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

  • When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

  • Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

  • Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

  • Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

  • If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

  • Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

  • Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

  • If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

  • Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

  • Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

  • Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

  • I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

  • War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.